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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692072">Lacuna</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwormscififan/pseuds/Bookwormscififan'>Bookwormscififan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song Related Fics [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Feelings of Helplessness, Gen, Self-Doubt, Slight Violence, feelings of dread, feelings of panic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:34:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwormscififan/pseuds/Bookwormscififan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When someone travels somewhere for some idiotic reason, and their acquaintance brings them back, then they leave again, is it really worth saving them?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Song Related Fics [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890301</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lacuna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy birthday to @purp-man on tumblr!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>These are the eyes and the lies of the taken<br/>These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours<br/>They burn 'cause they are all afraid<br/>For every one of us, there's an army of them<br/>But you'll never fight alone<br/>'Cause I wanted you to know</em>
</p><p>The clock ticked, incessantly echoing its passage of time through the room. Apart from that, the place was silent.</p><p>Darkness loomed from outside the window, drowning everything in shadows. The lamp beside the television was turned off, and the bulb had been taken out. A single spider crawled his way up the curtains, pausing to poke a leg at each cartoon spider on the fabric.</p><p>A shadowy figure created a darker spot at the stairs, moving slightly to the beat of unheard music.</p><p>As the figure sank into the calm of his music, he suddenly froze, pausing his music and lowering his headphones.</p><p>He stood up, moving slowly to the middle of the room.</p><p>He lowered his hood, revealing smudged eyeshadow.</p><p>Virgil closed his eyes against the images flashing in his mind.</p><p>“Roman…”</p><p>
  <em>That the world is ugly<br/>But you're beautiful to me<br/>Well are you thinking of me now (now)</em>
</p><p>The Imagination was silent. Dust was settling, following the path of someone’s journey.</p><p>A dark-clothed figure stood at the gateway to the Deep Mind, whistling a sad, forgotten tune as they inspected their fingernails.</p><p>The sounds of frantic footsteps echoed through the area, causing the figure to straighten up.</p><p>“Roman.” The prince raised his scarlet hood, eyes defiant.</p><p>“I need to go through. I need to be a hero.”</p><p>The figure shook their head, stepping in front of the gateway and folding their arms across their chest.</p><p>Roman sighed, dropping his shoulders.</p><p>“Please, I need to do this.” Roman’s hand rested on his sword in warning.</p><p>“I cannot let you through. You will get lost. Thomas needs you.” The figure watched Roman nod in defeat, then turn and leave.</p><p>Smirking beneath their hood, the guard turned around to look into the gate.</p><p>Suddenly, a solid object hit their head, and they fell to the ground. They opened their eyes weakly as a flash of scarlet brushed past him.</p><p>Lifting a heavy arm, the figure passed out.</p><p> </p><p>When they came to, the guard had no idea how much time had passed.</p><p>They raised themselves to their elbows, lifting a hand to their forehead as numb pain registered.</p><p>Roman was nowhere to be seen. The gateway to the Deep Mind looked like some sort of warzone.</p><p>The figure sighed, adjusting their hood, and slowly came to a stand.</p><p>They closed their eyes, trying, with some difficulty, to send a message to anyone in the Mindscape.</p><p>
  <em>These are the nights and the lights that we fade in<br/>These are the words but the words aren't coming out<br/>They burn 'cause they are hard to say<br/>For every failing sun, there's a morning after<br/>Though I'm empty when you go<br/>I just wanted you to know</em>
</p><p>The images continued through his mind, causing Virgil’s heart to beat louder than the ticking of the clock.</p><p>Something bad was about to happen. <em>Or was happening</em>.</p><p>A cold, empty feeling settled in his stomach.</p><p>
  <em>What was Roman doing?</em>
</p><p>Biting his nails, Virgil allowed his fringe to fall into his eyes. He knew where the images were set. He knew there was a place in Thomas’ mind where Sides go, somewhere to find themselves.</p><p>The last thing Virgil wanted was for Roman to go there, but he had no say in anything the prince did.</p><p>His voice left him, and he silently screamed as the images became overwhelming.</p><p>
  <em>That the world is ugly<br/>But you're beautiful to me<br/>Are you thinking of me<br/>Like I'm thinking of you<br/>I would say I'm sorry, though<br/>Though I really need to go<br/>I just wanted you to know</em>
</p><p>The realm beyond the gateway was crowded with figures. All the colour had drained from the people, and the area was a strange monochrome.</p><p>The feeling of loss and defeat hung heavy in the air, acting as a sort of vacuum that sucked the life and strength from every side here.</p><p>The realm was infinite, and the empty Sides wandered the space with no clear destination. It seemed that every person had forgotten their purpose for being here, or that they just… no longer cared.</p><p>Roman turned as each figure brushed past him, feeling no warmth or solidity from any arm that was near his.</p><p>Fear began to settle in the pit of his stomach, and he tried to call out. His voice was swallowed in the muffled murmurs of the figures aimlessly walking past.</p><p>The prince froze, figures rushing past him, as his heartbeat began to ring in his ears.</p><p>Slowly, without his notice, Roman’s cloak began to fade.</p><p>
  <em>I wanted you to know<br/>I wanted you to know<br/>I'm thinking of you every night, every day</em>
</p><p>Virgil opened his eyes as his panic began to ebb.</p><p>He took a deep breath and flexed his fingers. Pulling himself to a sitting position, he looked around the room and swallowed thickly.</p><p>Roman was still in trouble.</p><p>The images had stopped flashing in his mind, matching the slow beat of his heart.</p><p>Brief glimpses of a scarlet cape moving through a gateway kept repeating themselves behind his eyelids.</p><p>Virgil crawled to the couch, resting his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees.</p><p>“I have to help him,” he croaked to himself.</p><p>He couldn’t ask anybody for help, so he cracked his knuckles and set his jaw.</p><p>He had only managed to save Roman once, when the whole group had stupidly gone into his room.</p><p>Closing his eyes, Virgil sank out.</p><p>
  <em>These are the eyes and the lies of the taken<br/>These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours<br/>They burn 'cause they are all afraid<br/>When mine beats twice as hard</em>
</p><p>The anxious side stood in the middle of the Imagination, heart pounding in his ears.</p><p>He clenched his teeth, walking toward the gateway to the Deep Mind.</p><p>The closer he got, the louder the murmurs of the lost echoed in his direction.</p><p>He stopped, clasping a hand over his ears in a vain attempt to block out the echoes.</p><p>He raised his head, eyes wide, as a voice echoed above all the others.</p><p>
  <em>I have to be the hero. I need to prove myself.</em>
</p><p>“Roman.”</p><p>The anxious side shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets and set off at a faster pace to the gateway.</p><p>
  <em>'Cause the world is ugly<br/>But you're beautiful to me<br/>Are you thinking of me<br/>Like I'm thinking of you<br/>I would say I'm sorry, though<br/>Though I really need to go<br/>I just wanted you to know<br/>That the world is ugly (I just wanted you to know)<br/>But you're beautiful to me (I just wanted you to know)<br/>Are you thinking of me</em>
</p><p>Virgil stood at the gateway to the Deep Mind, staring at the figure on guard.</p><p>“Roman is going to lose himself,” the figure told him.</p><p>“What if he’s already lost?” Virgil’s voice echoed in the silence. His anxiety was getting the better of him, and he gripped the hem of his hoodie nervously.</p><p>“Sides don’t lose themselves that quickly. The fastest has been twelve minutes inside the Deep Mind,” the guard stated, stepping aside to let Virgil through.</p><p>The anxious side bolted through the gate, freezing immediately as he saw the flood of grey and black hooded cloaks.</p><p><em>This is where the Lost Sides live. Is he here?</em> Thoughts raced in Virgil’s mind, but he pushed them down as he began to count the seconds he spent in the area.</p><p>
  <em>One, two, three, four… Roman, where are you? Nine, ten, eleven, twelve…</em>
</p><p>A flash of red caught his eye. Stuck somewhere in the middle of the sea of grey.</p><p>Virgil squared his shoulders and pushed his way through the flood, arm outstretched and ready to grab his goal.</p><p> </p><p>Roman watched people go past, feeling his emotions drain. Chills began to run down his spine, making him shudder. Cold set into his body, travelling from his feet up to his chest.</p><p>His breathing shallowed, and panic began to set in.</p><p>
  <em>What if I never get out? I need to be a hero, but can a hero actually work on his own? I need a villain to fight. Where is my villain? Who is my –</em>
</p><p>A hand grabbed his elbow, solid and firm. Warmth flooded his body, starting from his elbow. Roman turned around to look at the person who had saved him….</p><p>
  <em>Stop your crying, helpless feeling<br/>Dry your eyes and start believing<br/>There's one thing they'll never take from you</em>
</p><p>“You’re an idiot.” Virgil’s face was firm, mouth turned down in a frown, but his eyes showed multiple emotions: relief, concern, anger, fear.</p><p>“I wanted to be the hero…” Roman looked down, watching the colour at the base of his cloak fade. </p><p>“Going into the Deep Mind to prove you’re a hero is a stupid idea, Roman,” the anxious side turned the prince around and began to walk him back to the gateway.</p><p>Roman walked slowly back, mind whirling. <em>What have I done? Why did I do that?</em></p><p> </p><p>When they rose up in the main Mindscape, Roman sat on the couch and dropped his head into his hands.</p><p>Virgil stood opposite him, hands in his pockets.</p><p>“Thomas doesn’t see me as a hero anymore,” the prince said, voice soft.</p><p>Virgil rolled his eyes, then crouched down in front of Roman.</p><p>“Thomas has always seen you as a hero. True, you feel terrible, but <em>you’re</em> his creativity. You are the most important Side here. Without you, nobody would have anything to do. You cannot leave.”</p><p>“But I forced him to attend the wedding. I thought that was what he wanted, but it wasn’t. And we all made his mental health worse. That snake –”</p><p>“Don’t blame Dee for your own selfish stupidity. Not everything is your fault. I shouldn’t even have to deal with this, but you cannot go into the Deep Mind to find yourself. It’s hopeless.” Virgil stood up, adjusting his hoodie, then looked Roman in the eye.</p><p>“I want to see you at the next dilemma, Roman.” With that, he sank out, leaving the prince to sit on the couch with his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>The prince sat in the main Mindscape, thinking hard about his choices.</p><p>He still didn’t feel like the prince that Thomas needed. He felt… empty, as though he had left some of himself in the Deep Mind.</p><p>If he was supposed to be the hero in this story, why did he feel more like the villain? Why did he feel like he was just making Thomas’ problems worse?</p><p>Roman stood up, pulling his hood over his head.</p><p>If Thomas needed a prince, he would have to wait.</p><p>His prince had to find himself first. No amount of questing in the Imagination was going to help him reach his goal.</p><p>He had to go back to the Deep Mind.</p><p><em>(And then your face, will be lost forever, we'll never be the same</em><br/>Like ghosts in the snow<br/>Like ghosts in the sun)</p><p>“Roman. I cannot let you into the Deep Mind.” The figure glared at the prince.</p><p>Roman’s appearance was horrible; his eyes were red and puffy, his cloak was slightly torn, and his hair was a mess.</p><p>“I need to go in. I need to prove myself.”</p><p>With a sigh, the guard stepped to the side.</p><p>“Nobody has ever gotten out of the Deep Mind. You won’t get out.” Roman set his jaw, then stepped forward.</p><p>“I’m going to be the first.”</p><p> </p><p>The next time someone asked to see Roman, they were met with Thomas’ blank look and question of, “Who’s Roman?”</p><p>Creativity was gone.</p><p>Virgil stood in his spot, staring at the floor. He felt somehow responsible for Roman’s disappearance.</p><p>Roman was gone, and there was nothing Virgil could do about it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you were curious, Lacuna means "a blank space; a missing part", and I thought it was a really good title for this. <br/>Thank you for reading this! If you liked it, please remember to leave kudos and comments, and send birthday wishes to my friendo Purp-man on tumblr!! :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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